Christians, Let's Stop Giving Our Kids Internet-Connected Devices.

The secular world is saying no to a phone-based childhood. Why aren't we?

It seems like everywhere I turn these days, I’m seeing parents and professionals saying, “Let’s delay giving kids and teens smart phones.” From a viral WhatsApp Group in the UK, to social psychologist (and professed atheist) Jonathan Haidt, the call to delay the age we give kids smartphones is growing.

I’m delighted to see the message out there. But, Christians, where are we? There are some voices who appear to be rejecting the cultural narrative that a smartphone is required for teenagers. And yet, there isn’t a global, bold movement of Christians (aka - the church) who are standing up for kids and saying no to giving children smartphones, tablets and internet connected video games.

Just this week the Surgeon General rolled out a recommendation that social media should now come with a warning label akin to the one on a pack of cigarettes. In March, Jonathan Haidt released his NY Times best seller “The Anxious Generation” that calls for an end to the “phone-based childhood.” And the church? I’ve seen a few recommendations by Christians here and there that kids’ access to social media should be revoked. But by and large: crickets.

Smartphone History

Smartphones were widely adopted by teenagers around 2012. When I shared this with my middle school son and some of his friends, they quickly exclaimed that 2012 was the year many of them were born. Smartphone ubiquitousness is the same age as a middler schooler. I think we can all agree that things are awkward and not going well. But unlike humans, I don’t think smartphones are going to outgrow their awkward stage. The iPhone was first released in 2007 and the iPad followed in 2011. We aren’t even two decades into this grand social experiment and it’s hard for many of us to remember life without the internet at our fingertips.

Via the internet, access to social media, pornography and the general “all about me” phenomena of the glowing computers teenagers are carrying around in their hands has lead to the highest rates of anxiety, depression, self-harm and suicide among our young people that we’ve ever seen.

We aren’t too far into this grand social experiment to roll things back. Going back to a time when we don’t track the location of our kids or check the weather on our phones instead of looking out our windows is within reach. We can do things how we used to. We can live how generations of humans over thousands of years existed in the world. I’m not saying we need to role back all of our technological advances, but the ones that are harming kids’ mental health? Yes, let’s roll those back.

Too Heavy a Burden

Giving our children access to the entire world, and thereby the entire world access to our children is overwhelming. It’s a burden they cannot and should not have to bear. Smartphones aren’t for kids, or teens. We’ve believed the lie that because social media is so prevalent within society, it is something our kids are required to take part in. I’ve heard many parents claim that kids need to “learn how to use social media and smart phones” while they are still under our roof. Facts are being on social media and smart phones/tablets exposes our kids to a whole host of people we’d never allow them to interact with in real life. Take this from the Ethics & Public Policy Center, “Predators are all over social media, trying to befriend and groom young girls. A private study found that nearly 1 in 3 teen girls have been approached by adults asking for nudes on social media. The presence of teens on social media presents not only a mental health concern, but also a safety concern.”

One of my favorite quotes is from The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom. She asks her father what “sex-sin” means, a word she had heard at school. He replied by asking her to pick up his suitcase full of clock parts for their family business. The suitcase was too heavy for her 11 year old body to manage. “‘Yes,’ he said, ‘And it would be a pretty poor father who would ask his little girl to carry such a load. It’s the same way, Corrie, with knowledge. Some knowledge is too heavy for children. When you are older and stronger you can bear it. For now you must trust me to carry it for you.’”

Photo by Erwan Hesry on Unsplash

We don’t need to give kids and teens access, first hand knowledge, as a way to train children for adulthood. We need to train our kids and teens to love the good, true and beautiful so that when they see the ugly, abhorrent and vile they will recognize it as such.

Learning doesn’t always mean copying

Parenting is difficult, especially in today’s culture, but it is not impossible. I know this because Jesus said it himself in the book of Matthew that “all things are possible with him.” As a mom who is in the thick of raising kids I know firsthand the challenges that exist. But, I thank the Lord (and my husband) that I’m not alone in this journey. I take refuge in verses like 2 Thessalonians 3:13, where we are told to “not grow weary in doing good.”

The advice to allow kids access to the worst the internet has to offer then pray and hope for the best sounds nothing like the admonishment from 2 Timothy to “flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness.” We need, we must, be having conversations with our kids about the dangers of social media and the internet. But asking them to carry the suitcase, giving them access, is too much for them to bear.

So, my dear Christian parent, can we stop giving our kids smartphones, tablets and social media already? Can we, as followers of God the Creator look up from our devices and course correct? Or will we continue to wait for culture at large to protect our precious children, image bearers of the King of Kings? Warning labels on social media are well and good, and probably necessary but as Christian parents, we can and should be taking a firmer stand.