"But we have to teach our kids how to use smartphones": Answers for a common parenting myth
Need some quick tips for how to respond to your child's requests around digital media? Here you go...
Parents, sometimes we need quick answers to hard questions. “Because I said so” is a perfectly fine answer on occasion, but it is not terribly effective at shaping our kids’ hearts & minds.
The often repeated “we have to teach them how to use smartphones” phrase is misleading at best and damaging our kids at worst. Here are five things to consider when you think to yourself, “But don’t I need to teach my teenager how to use a smartphone?”
Smartphones are created to be user friendly. It will only take a few days at most for a teenager to become proficient in swiping, clicking, downloading apps, and setting up new accounts. This can wait until after high school graduation.
We don’t use temptation as a way to train our kids. From dangerous “adult” content to a self-serving desire for constant entertainment, smartphones create more problems than they solve. Giving your teen access to this content isn’t how we train them for success.
There is literally no proven plan for how teens can “safely/wisely/responsibly” use smartphones or social media. In fact, many adults are now opting for flip phones and deleting social media accounts because of the dangers brought about by smartphones.
Close to 90% of addictions begin in the teen years. If you don’t want your child addicted to smartphones, social media, pornography, or sports betting, then avoid these things during adolescence.
In Matthew 10:16, Jesus told his disciples, “be as shrewd as serpents and as innocent as doves.” You should talk to your kids about why smartphones and social media are dangerous, without exposing them to the danger.
Research shows waiting until age 18 to get a smartphone or tablet leads to better mental health for young adults.
1 Thessalonians 5:21-22 tells us, “but test all things. Hold on to what is good. Stay away from every kind of evil.” It is okay to teach your teenager to not participate in the cultural norm of smartphones for everyone.
For more reading, I highly recommend and ’s piece in National Affair’s article entitled “The Soft Tyranny of Smartphones.”
Have more questions from your kids that need answers? Comment below and I’ll get to them in a future What To Say by DCP post!