How to Not Gamble With Your Kid's Future
We teach our kids not to gamble. Should we teach them not to use social media?
Christian Parent, you’ve most likely taught your sons and daughters to avoid gambling, believing it to be antithetical to Biblical teachings on money. You’ve cited verses such as 1 Timothy 6:10, “The love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.” (Italics mine.) Encouraging your children on how to be wise with money, you have used Proverbs 13:11, “Wealth gained hastily will dwindle, but whoever gathers little by little will increase it.” As a Christian parent, you even use words like “steward” to convey your beliefs and morals concerning finances.
You’ve told your sons and daughters that from Las Vegas to Scratch & Win lottery cards at gas stations and grocery stores, these are things to be avoided. You’ve driven by the billboards that declare “$500 million Jackpot: Play Now” and told your children about the dangers of gambling and that they should fight the temptation to “win big.”
If you pay attention, you will quickly realize that gambling is everywhere. But we have a choice about whether or not we participate in it.
Research backs up Christian teaching
Sports Betting is now one of the fast-growing addictions in the United States. At the closure to advertisements for various sports betting platforms is a warning akin to the Surgeon General’s warning on a pack of cigarettes. The message is something along the lines of, “You really ought to think twice about this. It’s not good for you. Here’s a phone number for a gambling addiction center.” The American Psychological Association says, “Like addictions to alcohol and drugs, gambling addictions are characterized by an increasing tolerance that requires more gambling as time goes on to feel satisfied.” We, as adults, see that the short term thrill of betting can have very real, long term consequences.
Gambling Isn’t Good For Us. Same is true for Social Media.
We don’t teach our kids how to gamble “just a little bit” or with restrictions on how much time they can spending gambling or by monitoring and tracking all of their bets. Instead we talk to them about the dangers of poor financial discipline and point them to good choices. We instruct on how to tithe, save and spend money. We quote Dave Ramsey. We help our kids develop a budget and caution them to not spend their birthday money hastily. We don’t take kids to casinos or organize Youth Group Poker nights. We discourage silly dares and bets in our households that are tied to money such as, “I’ll give you $5 if you drink that bottle of hot sauce.” (Have I mentioned I live with a middle school boy?) We teach sayings such as “A penny saved, is a penny earned.”
As with most things in parenting, this isn’t a one and done conversation. We don’t lay down the law, expect complete obedience and move on to the next topic. As our kids get older, we share more about why gambling is so dangerous. Maybe you even share the real, personal story about your cousin who is getting divorced because his gambling addiction led him down a path of lying to his wife and loosing all of their retirement savings. If you don’t know a person who struggles with gambling, chances are you’ll meet him soon enough due to the increased ease of sports betting via apps on our smartphones.
So, why is it, dear Christian parent, that when a digital media platform that has been designed by “Attention Engineers” who borrow methods and strategies from casinos to manipulate users, do we say we need to teach our kids how to use it?
The number of times I’ve had parents tell me that they need to “teach their kids how to use social media” is mind boggling. The data is clear: Gambling is bad for you. Social media is bad for you. Finding articles that say gambling is a harmless form of entertainment enjoyed by millions is easy. They point to the “fun” you can have with your friends, the potential for financial gain, the contributions to the local public education, and more.
The same holds for social media. There are plenty of people and articles out there talking about the benefits of “connecting” online and how much teenagers want to have social media. But, the downsides of social media (anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, exposure to violent and sexual content) is well documented and far outweigh the possible benefit. Yet, because of how pervasive social media is (and, let’s be honest, our own use), we’ve decided that lots of conversations and training on how to use this addictive technology will do the trick. This is bad advice.
Take this from a 2016 Guardian article.
Social media platforms are using the same techniques as gambling firms to create psychological dependencies and ingrain their products in the lives of their users, experts warn.
These methods are so effective they can activate similar mechanisms as cocaine in the brain, create psychological cravings and even invoke “phantom calls and notifications” where users sense the buzz of a smartphone, even when it isn’t really there.
We’ve known these things for over eight years. Why are we still talking about letting our kids use social media?
There’s this belief that adults must have social media so we have to teach our kids how to use it safely. That’s just not true.
No one ever defines what "safe social media” use is, and for good reason. There isn’t a way to “safely” be exposed to sexual predators, graphic violence or endless scroll.
Even teenagers consistently talk about how addictive social media is. Recently, I asked an 18 year old, who had spent a year studying the affects of social media on teens, what it would be like to NOT have social media. “Oh!!! That would be really, really great. I wish I had done that.” I mentioned that she could still be social media free and gave her a few books to read on the topic. I hope she will.
MIT trained computer scientist Dr. Cal Newport states that social media is a “slot machine on your phone.” He is basing this argument off of data showing that social media is designed much like, well, you guessed it: slot machines. You get a quick hit of a win in “likes,” comments or a new post that mimics what it feels like to win when you’re gambling. This surge of dopamine in your brain is a powerful chemical action that leaves the user wanting more. (His Tedx talk from 2017 is worth 14 minutes of your time.)
We teach our kids to not become gamblers by not allowing them to gamble and teaching good financial literacy.
We ought to teach our kids not to become socially isolated, lonely, anxious and depressed by not allowing them to have social media and teaching them what real in-person community looks like.
It really is quite simple. Yes, kids and teens are going to want social media anyway. But just because a teenager thinks drinking a bottle of hot sauce for $5 is a good idea, doesn’t mean we should let him try.
What if we, as Christian parents, banded together and said no to social media for our kids? What if we said no to unrestricted internet access in their pockets in the form of smartphones chock full of apps designed by Attention Engineers? What if we didn’t gift our sons and daughter tablets with a cute kid proof case? What if we took the time to learn more about the dangers of social media on youth and educate our kids on why we are saying no? What if we start saying no to social media and instead fill our home with friends who look each other in the eye and experience real community?
Moms and Dads, what if we delete our social media accounts?
At the least, let’s admit that we, as a society, have a problem. Let’s stop gambling with our kids’ futures and instead show them the benefits of the real, in-person community that God created us for. We worship a triune God and we are created in his image. Community, real, in-person community is vital to human flourishing. Dear Christian parent, will you join me in saying no to social media and smartphones for your kids?